Sunday, 31 August 2008

Next stop Gnometanamo?

Rapturous at the prospect of jetting off for a cut-price weekend away, Mr Gnome poses pertly on the parapet of a provincial airport's multi-storey car park.

Moments later, at ground level, the Human Being is stopped by a trio of plain-clothes airport staff.

'Excuse me, sir, but we couldn't help noticing that you were taking photographs up on the sixth floor of the car park. It looked as if you were taking pictures of a little thing. A bird?'

'Er, are you security?'

'Yes, sir, we are.'

'Oh. Well, actually (fumbling in bag) I was taking some pictures of, um, my gnome.'

By now the trio are in the full-on presence of Mr G.

The HB continues feebly: 'He has a website.... He isn't political.'

A pause. The prospect of internment looms briefly.

But, once again, the 'G-force' has its semi-numinous effect.

The trio smile and move on.

Mr G and the HB continue to check-in, both strangely encouraged by the vigilance and politeness of these watchful guardians.

(Grateful fraternal acknowledgment re headline.)


brett jordan said...

i assume you avoided mentioning that mr gnome is constructed of semtex?

Mr Gnome said...

Mr Jordan!

Hello blog readers: Mr Jordan was JOKING.

Mr Gnome is a, er, gnome and his chemical composition is not very different from that of most Human Beings.

Anonymous said...

I think its the rather fetching beard Mr Gnome sports that attracted the attentions of the ever vigilant security staff. Might he consider, in the face of national security, shaving it off?

Mr Gnome said...

Yoo hoo, Anonymo!

How kind of you to comment.

The beard?


Sorry, it stays.

In a very real sense, the beard IS the gnome.

So much more than facial decoration.

And, sword firmly in his diminutive grasp, Mr G stands forthrightly to challenge the twin dangers of gnomophobia and pogonophobia.


Latestarter said...

I know of a friend who was nearly arrested by over-enthusiastic security for taking pictures of a bridge.

Big brother is indeed watching - but at least it makes airports feel a tad safer.

Hope you enjoy/enjoyed your trip.