Marco distinction

To tell or not to tell? Mr Gnome has been in two minds about trumpeting the delights of Marco's Deli and Bistro, Church Street, Stratford-upon-Avon.

After all, having discovered a treasure, one might be forgiven for not broadcasting the map reference to all and sundry.

Anguished moment over. Here goes.

Marco's is one of those family-run, small-scale, high-quality, low-price eateries that you may have been tempted to believe had gone the way of the dinosaur.

Fear not. Marco's is alive and kicking, a byword for quality to shoppers, office workers and the staff and students of the Shakespeare Institute (just across the street).

Breakfasts, lunches (not open in the evening) and snacks. Delicious bread baked on premises.

Service is prompt and cheery. You'll probably be addressed as 'Darling'.

And the bacon rolls. Words fail us. The fresh bread. The dizzying aroma of the bacon. The outrageous generosity of the bacon-to-roll ratio. Heaven.

Ditto the roast beef sandwich - carved and carved again from the just-roasted joint. Can so much pleasure be morally justifiable? Whatever. Tuck in.

Go. Try. Tell.

Browns study

Mr Gnome is a firm believer in the anti-depressant properties of a square meal in pleasant surroundings.

Hence his enthusiastic endorsement of this splendid independent bar-cafe-restaurant in the centre of Coventry.

Browns is in the way of being a bit of an architectural gem as well, with an intriguing mixture of wood, stone, glass and copper - not too mention the bold, curvacious shaping of the interior.

There's a big menu and helpings are on the hurrah! side of big. Loads of fresh vegetables.

Tonight the HB relished his chicken and ham pie with carrots, cabbage and garliccy roast potatoes. All for £5.50.

Atmosphere is a wee bit bo-ho, but the place is clean and staff, including the wardrobe-wide doorman, are cheerful and efficient.

Don't judge a book...

This unpretentious building (OK, it's a pre-fab) is home to tip-top café/restuarant Alfonso's Place.

Tucked away behind the railway station, Alfonso's is one of those eateries about which people say: 'I didn't think places like this existed any more.'

Friendly service, fresh ingredients, home-made puddings (yes, all are home-made, including the ice cream, I think) and plenty of choice. Low, low prices.

The HB and Mr G enthuse about the breakfasts (fab) and the Sunday lunches (terrific).

Pleasure, pleasure, pleasure

Mr Gnome is in a state of barely suppressed frenzy as he anticipates a visit to the Bantam Team Rooms, Chipping Campden.

The Bantam Tearooms, in his opinion, are as close as one can get on this planet to the Platonic ideal of quintessentially English teashop-ness.

Let the home-made cakes be brought forth, let the warm crumbly scones be dolopped liberally with clotted cream.

One could continue - but the tidal wave of delight overwhelms man and gnome....

Nosebag for an Oxonian gnome

While Mr G's academic achievements are a closely guarded secret, his love for the ancient city of Oxford is not.

He's a frequent visitor and usually finds that he has time to ascend to his favourite local cafe, The Nosebag, tucked away up a steep flight of stairs on St Michael's Street.

Mr G likes the informal cafeteria-style servery. The healthy salads and substantial main dishes remind him of his heyday in the 1970s - as do the chunky crockery and no-nonsense decor.

Pictured is his absolute fave: the lemon cheesecake. Generous portions, or what?

Mr G is NOT a fan of the minimalist slice on the large plate with the arty swirl of coulis.

'Oh, please....' he murmurs, eyes rolling heavenwards.

The cafe is popular with students and dons, affording splendid opportunities to 'listen in' as one munches. Mr G has turned a discreetly sympathetic ear to many anguished outpourings re the state of Phyllida's PhD or Giles's overdue essay on metaphysical poetry....

Three rumbustious cheers for The Nosebag.