Principle Gnome

Following intense media speculation (it always is 'intense', isn't it?), Mr Gnome has issued a statement.

'I wish to make the following points very clear:

• I am, of course, a first gnome. I am not now, nor ever have been, a second gnome.

• The charming waterway beside which I am posing above is the Grand Union Canal. It is not a moat.
• My associations with ducks are sociable, respectful and mutually beneficial, but stop far short of involvement in duck-related housing issues.
• And while most ducks flap, they never flip. Neither do I.
  

Monday morning boost

Some like to be soothed into the start of a new working week. But not Mr Gnome. He relishes some cerebral stimulation.

Hence his enjoyment of AN Wilson's weekly World of Books column in the Daily Telegraph.

It's the equivalent of a brisk tutorial with this interesting, provocative writer.

This week, for instance, Mr W recommended four worth-reading titles on the much-discussed topic of fundamentalism.

As a result, Mr Gnome is urging the HB to read The Islamist, by Ed Husain.

Discursive Mr Wilson also managed to comment on the popular telly series Cranford, casually dropping in a daringly incendiary remark, particularly so given the fact that he's writing in the DT.

Did he make a controversial statement about Islam?

Nope. Far, far more shocking.

He outed himself as a shameless non-fan of Cranford's star turn, actress Judi Dench.

In fact, he was really rather rude about the semi-divine Dame.

Rude about Dame Jude? And in the Telegraph?

What next?