A minor destruction

So easy these days to check up on train times by calling National Rail Inquiries.

No complaints from Mr Gnome (pictured yesterday on a somewhat moist platform at Bridgend, Wales) about this tip-top service.

Prompt attention yesterday from polite operator with crystalline diction and a friendly manner.

He was anxious to offer some extra info alongside the train times that were the object of my call.

There were, he said, 'destructions on the line near Worcester'.

Yikes. I feared the worst.

He continued breezily: 'But this is a minor destruction and should be cleared within the hour.'

Phew. That's my kind of destruction.

At which point the penny dropped: my informant was Malapropping.

He must have meant 'disruptions'.

Cross my plam with sliver....

Spelling test coming up? Might be helpful to, er, know in advance which pesky words to prepare?

Well, you won't need a crystle ball to know to give these 'seers' a wide berth.

(Thanks to my chum BJ for pics snapped recently in NYC.)

Reminds me of a friend who lived on the edge of historic Chelsea. Two elderly friends popped in en route to a visit of horticultural and herbal interest.

'We've always wanted to visit the Chelsea Psychic Garden,' confided one of them.

Or Kenneth Williams' mother on a visit to a cathedral, admiring its spectacular 'flying buttocks'.

Or Lou Willams on another occasion: 'Yes they're getting a big loan from the bank - but they'll have to put up some cholesterol.'