So easy these days to check up on train times by calling National Rail Inquiries.
No complaints from Mr Gnome (pictured yesterday on a somewhat moist platform at Bridgend, Wales) about this tip-top service.
Prompt attention yesterday from polite operator with crystalline diction and a friendly manner.
He was anxious to offer some extra info alongside the train times that were the object of my call.
There were, he said, 'destructions on the line near Worcester'.
Yikes. I feared the worst.
He continued breezily: 'But this is a minor destruction and should be cleared within the hour.'
Phew. That's my kind of destruction.
At which point the penny dropped: my informant was Malapropping.
He must have meant 'disruptions'.