High on the Cotswold escarpment, Mr Gnome spies stormy weather coming up across the distant Malvern Hills.
The location is Dover's Hill, above the market town of Chipping Campden.
Once a year the peace of this pastoral idyll is rumbustiously shattered by the ancient antics of Robert Dover's Olimpick Games.
Among the many events featured is the not particularly health-and-safety-friendly activity of shin-kicking.
An event, now he comes to think about it, at which he might excel...