Gene therapy

It's not every day that Mr Gnome has an opportunity to meet an American bishop.

By the same token, it's not every day that American bishops get to meet Mr G.

This particular prelate is the Right Rev Gene Robinson, Bishop of New Hampshire.

As this episcopally epiphanic snapshot indicates, both parties appear to be equally chuffed by the encounter, which took place today at the splendid Greenbelt Arts Festival, sited on Cheltenham race course.

Bishop Gene had been drawing large and attentive crowds to his festival talks and lectures. Later he took time to chat with festival-goers while signing copies of his recent book The Eye of the Storm.

Charming and softly spoken, Bishop Gene was unfased by his meeting with Mr G, welcoming the impromptu photo-op without a trace of gnomophobia.

With typical diffidence, the bishop inquired: 'Am I big in Gnomeland?'

Responding through his spokesperson, Mr G stated robustly: 'Bishop Gene, you're absolutely huge.'

Greenbelt 2008

Mr Gnome, coffee and cake - a perfect threesome.

OK, possibly this scrummy trinity lacks something of the theological heft of the Big Three, but, all the same, they are very nearly all-sufficient, particularly when served up in the Greenbelt Festival's semi-legendary Tiny Tea Tent.

Mr Gnome and the HB relished every moment of their recent visit to this unique festival, frequently sallying forth from the TTT to be stimulated, charmed, challenged, moved and delighted.

The festival offers talks, seminars, panels, drama, music, dance, visual arts, film, loads of participation and fun.

And all within the context of an intelligent, questing, provocative relationship with the Christian faith.

Greenbelt is open and welcoming, offering a forum for a very wide spectrum of opinion and practice.

It's unique within the UK Christian set-up: nowhere else would you find so many varied views and opinions, co-existing in an atmosphere of respect and willingness to listen.

Consequently the festival is both challenging and a remarkably 'safe space' for those who feel themselves, for whatever reason, to be on the edge of the orthodox church scene.

So, hurrah for Greenbelt.

Both Mr G and the HB intend to return in 2009.

Versed past the post

Cheltenham race course was the venue for Mr Gnome's epiphanic encounter with tip-toptasic troubadour Ian McMillan.

The almost shockingly gifted McMillan, accompained by his equally talented orchestra, was performing a selection of songs and verses at the Greenbelt Arts Festival.

Funny. Moving. Witty. Clever. Droll. Tuneful. Punchy. Wistful. Robust. Funny.

Ian McMillan celebrates the hidden stories of those whose stories are rarely told - and makes you laugh, think and, in my case, dash away the occasional manly tear.

Mr McMillan offered an improvised poem (to jauntily soulful accompaniment from the orchestra) based on three topics called out by members of the audience: 'myself', 'British summer weather' and, inevitably, 'gnome'.

The moving epic that emerged, Homerically, from Mr McMillan's lyre depicted Mr Gnome fleeing inclement weather across a wide vista encompassing the delights of both Ibiza and Cleethorpes.

A gnomapotheosis.

The applause was rapturous.

Hurrah for the magnificent Mr McMillan.

And, all you poets out there, Mr Gnome modestly acknowledges his ability to inspire, which is, I guess, a talent - to a Muse.

By the way, this event was sponsored by the Church Times.